Endings

In the time between the first two posts on this blog, many things happened - not least of which the name of the blog changed from MinMaxMe to Errant-Nerd, a change that I'll write on at a later time. Or... you know what, maybe I'll write a bit about it now. There's no big mystery about it to be honest. In medieval lore, an errant-knight was the superhero of the day. They'd travel the lands, righting wrongs and proving their worth against the moral code of the time, which centred around seven virtues. More often then not, their motivations was romantic in nature - they would dedicate their accomplishments to a woman, who waited back home for tales of their lord's success while working up an appetite for some... reward for their man. I can personally relate strongly to many of these notions. In particular the need to prove my worth to a lady friend. It's unfortunately a little dude bro-esque but yes, there it is. I have a strong urge to show off for the affections of a female. Anyway there's a sad lack of place for armour-clad sword and lance wielding horsemen, and in any case it's not a skill set that I'm particularly interested in developing (that's a damn dirty lie; if someone offered me that opportunity I would leap at it with reckless abandon). My actual area of expertise is in bits and bytes, stage crafts, ludology and other random assortments of things that I invariably take a deep deep interest in. Sometimes to the point of obsession. So: Errant-Nerd. All this is preamble to the point I wanted to get to with this post, which is this: Currently I am single and lonely and sad. It's probably why I'm blogging again. But when contrasted with my mental state earlier this year, everything I wrote above comes into crystal clear focus. Then I was successful and happy to be successful. Now I'm successful and the success brings me no joy. The difference? Isn't it obvious by now?

Do over

So after writing my first post, I promptly forgot that this was a thing and went on my merry way, which is completely unsurprising but hell what even was the point of it?

Anyway consign that shit to the flames, and from the ashes regrow the world. This blog is the entire world, yes.

So I have some hazy memory that I created this blog to chronicle my own efforts to improve myself. I can't remember when I created this blog, and under what circumstances I was labouring under at the time, but certainly things have happened since then, and I am unsure whether the me of now is closer or farther from the me I would eventually like me to be, relative to the me of then.

And if you could make sense of that last sentence, well done! My mind will be an open book. I don't plan on making any concessions to your human grammers and spellings except as far as I personally give a shit about that stuff. And I do, truly. But if conveying meaning in my way requires tangling words in unconventional constructions because my brain is twisted like that, I'm just gonna put it out that way and damn it all.

Who the fuck else would be reading this thing anyway?

Edit: I just checked the first post. September 2011?! I could've sworn it was much more recent than that. Well we have some catching up to do, then...